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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326986">The night sky looks nice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatremania/pseuds/Theatremania'>Theatremania</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy &amp; O'Keefe, NF - Fandom, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater, The Lightning Thief - Rokicki/Tracz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen - Freeform, Multi, Trying to write about truth, Who else can relate, real talk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:41:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatremania/pseuds/Theatremania</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is something I go through at night sometimes. Evan Hansen also does, and I'm sure a lot of you guys do as well. So this isn't really a story about Evan this is more kind of a story that we can all relate too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>none haha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The night sky looks nice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feeling alone, <br/>I’d like this night to end please. <br/>But it wont. It's 3 am, I'm rubbing my hand against my thigh,<br/>I'm becoming very anxious. <br/>My breathing is starting to get heavier.<br/>I know I'm not alone but i feel alone and i'm lonely<br/>and I'm worthless and i'm numb<br/>but yet i feel my chest get heavier<br/>and heavier<br/>as i drift further in the dirt,<br/>as i drift further into the emptiness and the sorrow <br/>And the hurt and the lies and the thoughts and the urges. <br/>This is everything that keeps me up at night and so much more.<br/>My mouth is dry<br/>My face is numb<br/>My hands are sweating <br/>My feet are tingly<br/>My eyes sting<br/>My ears feel hollow<br/>I feel so weak.<br/>I sit on my bed with a slouch <br/>“Sit up like the scholar you are!” My teacher would say whenever one of us slouched<br/>I wish I fit in somewhere. <br/>I wish I knew my way around people<br/>You know<br/>Like<br/>How to talk to them how to use right body language <br/>I wish i had good posture <br/>I don't.<br/>It’s dark<br/>The lights are on but it's dark.<br/>My mind is a heavy place.<br/>Yes it's a place, how do i know?<br/>Because I'm in it all the time searching for something.<br/>Sometimes i'll write a letter to myself. <br/>Give myself a pep talk before school.<br/>It hardly ever works.<br/>I met a family a bit ago.<br/>They've been very nice to me.<br/>I care about them,<br/>They know what to do once I become anxious.<br/>Its nice to have that kind of security <br/>I don’t deserve them<br/>I don't deserve a lot of things<br/>But I'm thankful I have them<br/>If I didn't I wouldn't be surviving<br/>I'm barely surviving now.<br/>My moms amazing<br/>I love her<br/>But she doesn't understand a lot of things.<br/>The night sky looks really pretty tonight<br/>I like the stars <br/>They look so gentle but their needs are powerful<br/>I like being a gentle person<br/>It has its perks but its nice.<br/>Im feeling better.<br/>I think<br/>its hard to tell sometimes<br/>but i think my meds are starting to work now<br/>I feel a sudden urge of sleep kicking in.<br/>I'll go to sleep <br/>Hopefully when i wake up ill feel normal<br/>or at least hopefully better then tonight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys liked this. It was nice to write this. I go through this, Evan Hansen does and I'm sure a lot of you guys do as well, I tried to make this as relatable as possible, <br/>Hoped you guys enjoyed.<br/>Feel free to comment or like haha</p></blockquote></div></div>
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